I just got back from the library, where I am using old school tools (the best kind, real books made out of paper products) to research my upcoming Gargoyle book. I found one book I really liked, but sadly the last person to check it out must have been eating Cheetos while using it, because there were so many orange finger prints on the tops of the pages, that I got a bit grossed out and decided to buy it instead.




Anyway, it got me to thinking about a poster I made with John Woods Jr. and one of my favorite librarians in the whole world (Wendy Jo Woody) some years ago when we were promoting our first poetry book in elementary schools, There's A Fly On My Toast!, and I thought I would post the poster here for all to see.



Click on the image and it will get big enough to read well.
IF you like it, please feel free to use it, especially in a library!

Here is the text to the poem, since the image seems a bit small to read:



A LIBRARIAN’S LAMENT

I spend so much time selecting books.

Those special one’s that make kids look,


“I LOVE TO READ! THESE BOOKS ARE GREAT!

PLEASE ORDER MORE. I JUST CAN’T WAIT!”


And yet, sometimes, I become disturbed.

The way they treat books gets me perturbed.

When I look down in the book return,

what I see there can make me burn!


This book has water damage, torn pages, too!

The spine is loose! Oh, where’s my glue?

And right there damaged is another

“That wasn’t me, that was my brother!


He used it once to stop the door.”

The whole book’s bent, and here’s one more…

“The dog chewed it, then the dog got sick.

Puked on this book. Oh, yuck! Oh, ick!”


“I was eating lunch, my sandwich fell

into the book, so hence the smell.”

Salami in a book’s just not good.

They don’t treat ‘em the way they should.


Look, someone’s written in this book,

“I was taking notes and didn’t look…

Oh, by the way, that book won’t float,

I tried it out with my bathtub boat!”


How did this one happen? I must ask twice.

The pages are warped, no longer nice.

“I was balancing it upon my head,

to see if I was poised, but instead,

the book fell off and landed hard,

into my muddy, snowy yard.”



SO PLEASE, DEAR STUDENT, HEED MY ADVICE,

CHECK THE BOOK OUT, BUT TREAT IT NICE.


A BOOK IS TO BE READ, NOT EATEN BY DOGS.

A BOOK IS TO BE PONDERED, NOT SUBMERGED LIKE FROGS.


A DAMAGED BOOK IS SAD INDEED,

“TAKE CARE OF ME”, I HEAR THEM PLEAD.


IT’S NOT A BALL TO USE IN PLAY,

IT’S NOT A TABLE FOR FOOD TO LAY,


IT’S NOT FOR BATHTUBS OR WATER AT ALL,

IT SHOULD NOT BE TORN, PLEASE HEAR MY CALL.


TAKE CARE OF THIS PRECIOUS BOOK,

SO OTHER STUDENTS CAN HAVE A LOOK.


HANDLE IT LIKE IT WAS YOUR OWN,

PLEASE DON’T MAKE THE LIBRARIAN GROAN.


I GUESS I’VE SAID WHAT I WANTED TO,

BE NICE TO THESE BOOKS, OR I’LL BE BLUE.




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